now i know what a hundred-sixteen 'feels-like' feels like, i told my friend, and i meant it kind of ironically, becasue when i found out that 96 degrees with such a high humidity was actually 116 in "feels-like" i wondered exactly what that meant. my wife says that 'feels-like' is a scientific term in the sense that it indicates danger to the human body which obviously is more at 116 than, say 100. but if it's meant to remind us what it 'feels like,' how am i even supposed to know what that feels like? i know better than to go out in it, is all i can say.

things could get interesting tonight, when i'm dashing, and it's supposed to be a big thunderstorm. i actually considered canceling, not because i hate dashing in the rain, or am even afraid of it, as i have a small car and they often send you way out in the boonies - no, more just because there's nothing better than watching a huge storm roll in and wash clear a heat wave like this which needs to be replaced by cooler, clearer, fall temps. ah it's heavenly.

i used to get through whole summers without air-con. i'm not sure how i did it. the whole lower social rung of houses in iowa city didn't have it, and on rare days like this we'd all go out to the swimming hole, an old gravel pit, for the day. my car didn't have it either - i disconnected it, though i don't remember why (does that save money? not if you don't use it anyway) - but it was rare that i was actually uncomfortable in the heat and in fact i always marvelled at how much drier eastern iowa was than the pittsburgh and buffalo that i grew up in.

having finished one book, i'm now about to finish another, a brash set of short stories about disney. my family will be appalled knowing i've never actually been to disney. does that bother me? no, or, maybe a little. i feel like at least taking a virtual tour, or something, but i can hardly bring myself to watch old you-tubes about the thousands of people who pass through there every day. there are millions of stories, all over the place, and you can easily get lost in them. include them! i keep thinking. but you can only include so much. it seems to me that if i almost have a book, i should quick wrap it up while i'm ahead and call it done. i'm close. one problem is that it's thirteen stories - more than a dozen, but unlucky. should i just write another one?

the dogs are all het up about something. maybe somebody is walking on mary street! the nerve of them! but if one is actually stuck outside, maybe i should do something about it. it's 116, feels-like, in the shade.

sunday night, i should be relaxed and refreshed for a new week. instead i'm a little stressed both because of the weather and because of general events.

it is hot and steamy, getting hot and steamier. that is fairly typical for late august, but another typical thing is ragweed - as it blooms i suffer. my eyes swell out, my nose clogs up, it's miserable. i prefer to sit inside by an airconditioner and after a while don't even want to go out at all. i have an air-con in my car, so driving is not all bad, but getting in and out of the car, taking the few steps to the house, that kind of thing makes me constantly aware that hay fever is back and back in force. actually mowing the lawn i encounter it a lot, even mow over it, and that's bad too. released pollen gets in me and up upon my face where it makes me suffer.

the kids have all manner of trauma, and i include here all ten of them, spread far and wide, some with grandchildren that are up to their necks in trauma. life is not easy for anyone. there is a wedding in the family; i will be taking two boys to erie pennsylvania at the end of september (stay tuned in this blog), and that's interesting to me, being my old stomping grounds, where i grew up and all, but earlier than that, i am going under the knife for a cochlear implant operation and am hoping i come out of that, skull opened up and all, with no complications.

it all works together to make me more stressed than necessary; especially the weather. i want to stay only by my airconditioner and even then i question it as maybe it's just on fan and not actually getting the pollen out of the air. if so, i'm aggravated. i have a low boiling point. we are just getting into this over-95 heat wave and i'm already having trouble with it.

a book came out. i will grace you with its information if i have not already. i am especially proud of my great-great grandfather, as he kicked around the plains, fought in the civil war, and in general tried to keep up good relations and raise healthy children; he succeeded i think. one of them through a narrow line came down to me and here i am, somewhat an outlier of the family, yet writing about him, in a book that will go down amongst his many descendants as a record. i hope the relations will like what i have written.

night out from door-dashing; it's busy, going well, getting easier. all summer i can dash whenever i want with peak conditions; i choose to dash 7-9 30 every night and it's easily more than enough, i enjoy it, i don't want for anything. sometimes i dream of a cabin by a lake or a river, but you know what? those flood, and i'm tired of such complications. better yet a simple place in the woods that can be reached by both sons with minimal effort, something like that. but even that is more complicated than i really care for, and it means i am bound to door-dashing when in reality it's better to be able to let it go, especially if something happens. life is delicate. sometimes one has to just let go and walk away.

tonight i send a prayer out, to lots of people who i have connected with over the years. for those whose time is running out, i especially want to reach out. you reach a point where connection is futile, too much has gone down, no point any more. i don't want to reach that point, i want to connect now. reach out. i'm here, and i want to hear from you.

another night of rain - it's been raining a lot, especially at night when i take little feather, our yorkie, for a walk. two nights i took him out there when it was sprinkling, only to have it pour hard before we even got a couple of blocks. tonight i didn't even start. it had rained hard, was then a little lighter, but i wasn't taking any chances.

my son came home from israel. he's a lot broker than he was when he left, but otherwise in good shape. he liked israel, felt like they needed him and wanted him, and he met lots of girls. that's important to him at the age of 32, and he might go back. he has to make plans if he wants to go back. they have a program called aliyah that is designed to get people like him to move over there - in his case it might work. but he has to get his feet on the ground here first.

went out in the rain because another son needs meds and snacks late at night. ok i took them over there. i actually kind of like driving around late at night but not too late. i try to be home at all costs by eleven, i think it turns nasty after that. it's not even nice between ten and eleven. but i can handle it, and the rain was kind of nice.

oooh oooh friday night was wild. the air was still, very steamy, heat lightning on all sides of the sky. heat lightning in fact was repeated; pretty soon it was everywhere all the time. i took the dog out anyway. then the wind started and a mighty growl came from the southwest. the wind got stronger; so did the rain. then it was pouring. hard! i took little feather and we ran home. got barely under the porch, it was blowing and raining hard all over the place.

i looked out at the neighborhood and realized this probably wasn't all that unusual. it was, for feather and me. he shook hard and he was still kind of giving himself a bath, the following day.

finished a book (below post). my mind is free to move along. hallelujah!

Prairie Leveretts

A plains pioneer biographyBr>
James Walker Leverett (1830-1916) was born in 1830 and came out to Illinois on a stagecoach with his parents as a boy of four. He grew up on a farm near Quincy, but ended up moving out the prairie three times, once trying to homestead in southeast Nebraska Territory. This story tells about his life. I was interested in it for several reasons; one, the period of time is fascinating. Two, I also had many children and bounced around the prairie. Three, a lot of people claim him as a descendant and it's interesting to map out how we're related and make the connection. The story is interesting for more than the Leverett family, though. He's a guy who was totally in his period, knowing how to build and join wood to make houses, and he has a lot of wisdom to share with the modern generation.

Kindle version here.
Paperback version in review.
Hardback coming! (maybe ACX?)

it's p.v.'s birthday, one of my private holidays, which i'll explain, but because it's the first, i also did the blog report which in case you're interested appears at the first of every month. i actually manage thirty-five blogs, some of them quite poorly, and keep track of another seven dead ones just for the heck of it. the thing is, i don't participate in any blog communities or even check my favorite ones regularly, though i do have favorite ones and also link to them. it's more like i keep them just so i can say stuff, like now, when i have the impulsive need to communicate publicly.

my politics are still so radical that i've given up discussing politics with strangers or in public, at parties, etc. but i speak freely on the blog, where much fewer people encounter it, and they are free to simply leave (or comment?) if they don't like it. they don't comment much. though i do have traffic, it doesn't seem to affect much in the world. i once wrote an inspirtational post on this blog, my oldest and best-known blog, and got a comment to the effect that the commenter was truly inspired. that comment has kept me going. i figure if anyone anywhere stumbles on something that inspires them, or even encourages them to keep going or keep learning, it will all be worthwhile.

the main reason i keep them going is to keep myself going. write write write. it's not true that i get better just by doing a lot of it; sometimes i get worse by doing a lot of it, particularly if i fall into the impression that nobody's reading it anyway. why bother with crisp grammar? or even with full sentences, or capital letters? i never bother here, as this is my rambling blog, but on the other ones i try to keep a public face on it, and figure that, on some level, every time people see me write is a time i am showing my craft. i'm not sitting here on some big pile of sales, though. my thirty books' sales on amazon are as anemic as my thirty-five blogs' july visits. very anemic.

i'm not depressed though.