in the end, i just told everyone. i put it right on facebook - i got a cochlear implant at the u of i hosps. i got a lot of likes. my former bandmate down in carbondale wrote and said she hoped it worked out.

well, nothing "works out" when you lose your hearing; when it's gone it's gone and it won't come back. having electrical impulses in my brain instead of hearing works in the sense that i will be able to hear people talk. but i'm not complaining; i have something, and that's better than a lot of people, and i'm still alive, and i have my family.

one of the calls i got was from my ex-father-in-law. my first wife, for whatever reason, has decided never to come back to illinois, and therefore he is up there in chicago getting very old, and not talking to her, as they don't talk anymore. he has two sons and they still talk, but one is moving to michigan and the other is already in california, has been for years. in the end it could be my son, one of his grandsons, may be the only person remotely close, and he's in saint louis.

well, he called to say that at 98 he's considering getting a cochlear implant. i told him everything i knew about the operation, the recovery, the period of adjustment, and i told him, be sure you get a doctor who's straight with you and whom you trust. i was lucky that way. my doctor was good. the whole thing was a pain but i figured i had ten to twenty years to enjoy good hearing and being back in the game, so to speak.

> well, he said, but i'm 98, and don't have that much longer. this put me in the difficult position of helping him decide how much longer he thought he would last. there's no telling, i said, and that's true even for me at seventy, i could keel over tomorrow. but it's optimistic to do the best you can, get one, and enjoy good hearing in your final days. also i said, i think you look good and healthy and you'll last a while, so i'm still for it.

the whole thing gave me an odd feeling, him knowing he's on the edge there, that he doesn't really have all that long, and making a gamble that a couple of weeks of discomfort, with anesthesia, being knocked out, etc., all of which might be very hard on him. in some ways again i'm lucky. relatively healthy outside of my ears, i was able to recover from that other stuff ok and get back on my feet. i'm here, almost unable to take his call while i adjust to the new implant, but i'm definitely coming back, i'll be healthy, i'll have a life back even if everything goes wrong with the implant. he might not have the same luxury.

so i told him in the end, you have to do what's best for you, and i can't really judge that. but i also felt, well, i'm family, and he's always been family to me, and still is, and i don't want any problems between my first wife and me to come between us. i think, whatever advice i've got, he's more than welcome to it.

that's why i told him about the train station. my son and i, we'll be there, union station, friday afternoon from two to five, we'll be on our way to erie, pennsylvania, and if he wants to come talk about it he will. it may be more trouble for him, a 98-year-old, to find his way down to union station than it woulld be for me, only 70, to find my way, with my son, up to the north side where he is. but i told him i'm not confident leaving union station at that time, and also, by the way, you never know about these trains, maybe they'll be on time maybe not. so we'll see what happens, and i'll give you a report.