the night's so steamy, it hangs in the air, pushing against you in oppression like a straitjacket. everyone's glued to the national news. i'm keeping the dogs in, no walk, i can't even bear it it's so sticky, even at night. yet i saw the police actively pulling people over and i know it's hopping out there. i took a night off dash, but i suspect there's plenty of business.

my writing has ground to a halt, practically in antagonism. i'm writing about the turn of the century and various people who occupied it, but i've stopped the writing. i do some reading of old 1898 newspapers but mostly i just play online boggle addictively as i can worry on several planes at the same time. the national scene is especially disturbing.

it looks like democracy is doomed, but have a little faith, i tell myself. people have hope even in the darkest times, they have to. and the same goes for the hurricanes and the horrible heat waves. true, we ain't seen nothin' yet. but have a little faith. the world's young people will deal with it because they'll have to. and finally, political violence is back, and likely to get worse. but yea, i say, have a little faith. the american people can get through this without violence. it's a little ridiculous to always blame each other for each incident as if one side actually caused the problem. in this case, everyone is armed to the teeth, one random guy lost it, and the security ring fell apart. all of those are well in the bounds of likely things to happen.

the dogs are kind of expectant. i can't blame them. they actually don't care or don't even notice if a huge storm is coming in, which it is. not sure if they remember any kind of promise like i somehow said i'd take them as soon as i could. don't feel like i can, tonight, it's just too darn sticky. and i'm a little too tired.

once again, took my son over something to eat and he'd fallen asleep. he has a way of not making it as long as it takes me to make it there. he and his friends, they all kind of live out on the edge. his friends have parents who barely feed them but do occasionally send some money, or buy a train ticket, but the real problem is, they've gone a whole life with virtually no skills, nothing they've done. they couldn't begin looking for a job, and neither can my son really. they're kind of doomed to sitting around begging or hoping some grownup will just cover it. some people say this is a blueprint for trouble - it's only a matter of time before they go out taking what they need when they have no other way of getting it - but these boys so far are sticking close to the grownups and hoping they don't have to do that. i'm hoping they don't too. i'd like to write a book about living on the edge, trying not to fall into what the others like them are doing, stealing, robbing, that kind of thing. a few of them are working, more power to them. most of them would be, if we could find something for them to dig into.

the rain is supposed to cool it off, then go up to 94 sometime tomorrow. this will be very hot for here. to me the big adjustment is to the humidity but i'm a wimp for the heat too and find myself shutting down, playing a lot of bog. turning on the a/c. not going for a walk. stay calm, get by. fall is coming.