Sunday, April 30, 2023

sunday morning, and i'm reflecting on the fact that it would be my father's birthday - he would be 96 but didn't quite make it this far. the queen, too, would have been 96 on my birthday, but she didn't make it either. instead i turned 69 and here i am, with puppy (below post), a cold spring morning, and a lot of books to read and write.

on my to-write list are three that are all in progress. the first, biography of john leverett, is doing ok but mired in too many facts. i began to rewrite it so it went right through telling a story, and that makes it a little better. now the global order is more the order of the story, and the other facts will have to be placed in as they come up. Many of those will go in footnotes.

second is a book of haiku about nine eleven. i'm trying to get a hundred so i'll have a whole book, but i only have about thirty. how many season clues can one find that all point to early september? i've used up most of the ones i have and need a few more. i also need new york city geography, loaded as it is with connotation and character.

the final one is a love novel that documents my experience teaching esl in carbondale. i have to say, those eighteen years were the most important of my working life. there were six more in kansas, four in texas, a few subbing in the alamogordo schools, and a summer here and there (ohio and minneapolis, to be specific), not to mention korea, but the eighteen in carbondale were big and they're on my mind. the trains, the steamy weather, the riots, i'm not sure how much of that is going in there, but as much as possible. mostly the view of language and its difficulty for internationals, some of whom were very bright and yet still having difficulty with its general irrationality.

on the reading side i found one about nine eleven that is really helping me. it's somewhat repetitive but at least it hits the profundity of losing so many firefighters and first-responding personnel to such a huge tragedy. what i'm trying to pull out of it is the smells, the sights, the feelings, the enormity of the mess. no kigo, or season clues, in there at all. but the author is in the same business i am - documenting it for all eternity. it's like the holocaust - something we must never forget.

another, stunningly well written, is called the last orphan. i often read three or four at a time, and when i grow impatient i simply flip to another one, for example, when an author makes a mistake i can't bear, or if the fantasy angle is simply too much. with this one, i'm not even reading it for any obligation - i simply pulled it off facebook or somewhere, free, and started reading it - but i truly can't put it down. it's set in both utah and arkansas and has a heavily geographical outlook which i enjoy; also, it's thoroughly about the mormons and their culture, which i've always found interesting. but it hits a very difficult dilemma head on.

the other things i'm reading are simply to do business, which i always try my best to tend to. i got a few sales this month; it's not all bad; but, pretty slow in general. i need to finish that third book, the novel, since novels give you something to market and they keep the counters jingling. unfortunately it's difficult to finish. all my other author friends are cranking things out one after the other, and i sit here, opening up one of the three and having difficulty no matter which one i'm working on. difficulty in the sense that i encounter larger issues as i'm writing and i'm just not prepared to resolve them when i'm writing. i need to step back, get the overall plan, address those issues, and go back to work with a solid plan in place. it's a matter of process and getting that process in order.

back to my general sunday morning doldrums. family chat will start in minutes; i always look forward to that. i love my brothers and sisters and stay very involved in what's going on in their lives. they too will have plenty to say about mine. later in the evening, there will be cloud quakers, which will make it a total zoom day, and that's good too. it's what sunday is all about.

the writing issues, hopefully, will resolve themselves. and it will warm up a bit outside, where it's still rainy, blustery, windy, cold, very spring on the winter-side. all that is temporary. the bright greens and colors will be back in force, soon enough.

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