tonight it rained, and to me that's a joy: september and it still rains. in new mexico it stops for about eleven months, and comes around again next july, but here the west wind brings in a new squall every once in a while and you get to go out on your front porch and listen to the rain.

unfortunately, i can't bring the puppy out there, or i haven't figured out how to do it, as i don't like tying him up if we're just hanging out. still if he's free, he'll simply walk away, and that will cause me anxiety and stress wondering if he won't come back, or he'll be difficult catching. so, no puppy. just me, the popcorn, and the rain.

the puppy's ok with this late night arrangement: i read until i fall asleep, and he occupies my lap. he's good at that lap spot while i pet him and it's all quiet and cosy, and now it's still raining outside, but, having taken my shower, i've let go of my hearing aids and hear only the thunder. or rather, i feel the thunder, since i don't really hear anything except crickets.

lots of action on the house. i might be out of that back-to-work idea after all. this would be a huge relief, and i would take up where i left off with the writing and marketing.

nevertheless i got a scare, and came to realize that with what i'm making on writing, barely twenty or thirty a month, it's not sustainable and i'd have to go work the aisles somewhere just to keep going, even at the age of sixty-eight, and only do writing when i come home tired. well i'm already tired - one more night with no writing, to speak of - but the writing is on the wall. i need to develop my income so that it sits there still being income even when i'm busy.

the advice i gave myself in a nutshell was, stop writing things about your grandparents, and start writing more about madonna and trump.

not that i'll totally follow my own advice. but i could at least write something that is more marketable, like a novel, that hits the scene and gets everyone's attention. that was kind of fun the first time around. now people know who i am, and i think i would have more fun. i just have to write the darn thing.

you see the blueprint for my future. it's about texas. there's a story collection about disney, too, if i ever get it together. stay tuned.