the vertigo hasn't been so bad - but i had a spell of what is called pulsatile tinnitus, which is really bizarre, and has a wild story that goes with it. it's somewhat personal and i may have to build up my courage to tell the story.
made a fire for the girls tonight. everyone wants a fire, when they come way out here to the mountains, and they see big huge piles of sticks that we've collected, and whole mounds of pine straw. i too want a fire, since i realize that piles of sticks are fires waiting to happen anyway, and in an anxiety-prone household any way you can get the stress down is a good way. but for that very reason - anxiety - we have very few fires. we have to know that rain is coming. well now is the season - rain is coming almost all the time - so it's time to get on the piles and burn some of it. given the chance, i did. i spent the night bringing sticks to the fire and throwing them on. it was a joy, and very therapeutic.
pulsatile tinnitus is when you hear your own heart, and feel thumping that is actually caused by your own heart getting too close to your eardrums. We are not programmed to understand sounds and thumping as coming from inside us, so we don't. that can be a problem, late at night. but that's all i'll say. we just had to work it out and eventually i figured out what was going on.
a long steady monsoon we're having - lots of rain, and hopefully more coming. i got lots of weeds pulled and got cow poop put under dirt so it will make real good soil that i can then use to build up rocky hillsides. i'll eventually be able to grow about anything. right now my specialties are potatoes, onions, greenthread, plum trees, and sunflowers. some are growing better than others. at night, it's cool. the rain has been so steady that the ground is saturated, and doesn't really trap the sun. the cows come through and put deep cylindrical holes in the earth, and leave me poop for fertilizer. i have to watch not to step in it, as i go collecting sticks, and filling a bucket with water to put out the fire. but the reward for my hard work is carrying that campfire smell around, especially at night, when a nice smell of campfire makes all the difference in the world.
made a fire for the girls tonight. everyone wants a fire, when they come way out here to the mountains, and they see big huge piles of sticks that we've collected, and whole mounds of pine straw. i too want a fire, since i realize that piles of sticks are fires waiting to happen anyway, and in an anxiety-prone household any way you can get the stress down is a good way. but for that very reason - anxiety - we have very few fires. we have to know that rain is coming. well now is the season - rain is coming almost all the time - so it's time to get on the piles and burn some of it. given the chance, i did. i spent the night bringing sticks to the fire and throwing them on. it was a joy, and very therapeutic.
pulsatile tinnitus is when you hear your own heart, and feel thumping that is actually caused by your own heart getting too close to your eardrums. We are not programmed to understand sounds and thumping as coming from inside us, so we don't. that can be a problem, late at night. but that's all i'll say. we just had to work it out and eventually i figured out what was going on.
a long steady monsoon we're having - lots of rain, and hopefully more coming. i got lots of weeds pulled and got cow poop put under dirt so it will make real good soil that i can then use to build up rocky hillsides. i'll eventually be able to grow about anything. right now my specialties are potatoes, onions, greenthread, plum trees, and sunflowers. some are growing better than others. at night, it's cool. the rain has been so steady that the ground is saturated, and doesn't really trap the sun. the cows come through and put deep cylindrical holes in the earth, and leave me poop for fertilizer. i have to watch not to step in it, as i go collecting sticks, and filling a bucket with water to put out the fire. but the reward for my hard work is carrying that campfire smell around, especially at night, when a nice smell of campfire makes all the difference in the world.
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