a sense of dread has come over me, in part because i believe my niece has the covid. she was very precious to us, but careless, and she went off to college where it was rampant, in leeds, united kingdom. you already know more than you need to. let me just say my heart goes out to her, and i hope she recovers fully. it's a terrible thing to happen.

meanwhile i'll tell you what i see - there is no way to make people more aware of the seriousness of it. we tried to argue and reason. people are kind of fatalistic. i myself am afraid - i'm out here in the mountains, with as much fresh air and breeze and hard new mexico sunshine as i can take, and i'm still afraid. my teens go into town. we're not doing sleepovers; we're not giving rides to kids' friends. we are still surprised that there are only two cases in the zipcode. but we suspect that it's everywhere, all the time.

one son came down to visit from chicago. outside of town his car went over the cliff and he landed in some trees, lost his car. let the warm new mexico october settle the sun on the western horizon, over by the ridge, but i still live in a kind of dread, and stress, and general agitation. it's like i wish there was something i could do about it.

i feel like the country has gone haywire at the top, starting from the top, and results of it are everywhere. the country is feeling ready for its civil war even if he dies suddenly in the night. he was their last hope, and he's gone bonkers, infecting everyone and screaming and making tweetstorms into cyberspace. they will stick to him until the bitter end. the rest of us are just hoping that the whole thing ends, gives up, wears out, lets us have some peace. in my edginess i keep reading the news, as if that will help. or i focus on the hurricanes, the endless series of them pounding louisiana. or i concentrate on the polls - three points in ohio, eleven in michigan, five in georgia, that kind of thing. even though winter approaches at its steady pace, i can hardly wait for at least november.

but the covid approaches too. and it's stealthy, and there's no way of knowing exactly when it will be all over the place. some people will get it. i hope they make it, is all i can say. it's not a good feeling.