Friday, December 07, 2018


i spent much of november uploading family photos on this blog, for several reasons; one, it's a pretty reliable place to put everything that is valuable to me. i know, yes, that google owns it, and keeps it, but i'm ok with that. everything is public anyway. how is one place any different from any other? i know that's a stupid question, but, i'm beyond worrying about it.

no, the reason i write is, i've been reflecting on family in general, and how profound its influence is on a person and his / her life. our original family, my parents' four children, has a kind of parallel family, which would be my mother's younger brother, a wallace (see tartans below), who lived a kind of unstable existence out here in the desert southwest for most of his grown life. he and his first wife paula split up when the kids were little and the three older sisters didn't approve; as a result i didn't see his three kids for many years.

i remember a reunion in tucson maybe 27 years ago when i saw the older two of his kids. the oldest girl went on to marry and have two children; the second, a boy, had two daughters but had maybe taken in a young boy as well. one of his daughters was the same age as one of my sons, and they became close instantly, even at the age of maybe three. finally, the third daughter, i never met, but she, surprisingly enough, was in the alamogordo area when i got here, and i finally met her here.

now my aunt paula has died, and i'm a little torn about attending the service. i didn't really know her, and further, i have no indication from the family that they would want me there. it's like, in part of their life, out of respect for her, they had denied that the wallace side even existed.

as family member, i would do anything to support them, up to a point. that's the main point i've made to them. i'd love to see my cousins again, after 27 years; love to help them out, meet their kids, be a family again. it's not likely. i can't even bring myself to attend that service (which is tomorrow, pearl harbor day, her birthday), because i just don't feel they want me there. they don't, as a family, put that feeling out into the world.

i'll never forget the two three-year-olds, though. mine married last year, and is happy in portland. his daughter, i think, is married too, but no doubt, i wouldn't even recognize her.


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