i was in harrisburg recently, actually i was there several times, but it occurred to me that hey, i'm moving to texas, and there's this police chief here with the exact same name as me, so i went into the police office and called on the "police phone" and they found him for me, and he came up, and we stood there facing each other and talked for a little while. i really liked the guy. people like to put an e at the end of the name, he said, and this is true, it's got 3 e's already but they like to put another one on there. he told a little about the tornado in town. he said he wasn't the chief, he rotated out of that job, he works nights, and that's the way he likes it. the only reason he was in the paper with the tornado, was that he was one of the first responders. to get to harrisburg you cross this big beautiful lake, but there are a lot of stoplights and then you go through marion, which is all torn up and takes forever. then on the other side of marion it gets wide and beautiful, looks like texas, no houses, just grassy fields. and they let you go 65 even though it's not an interstate, that's kind of rare in these parts i guess. in harrisburg the roads are different because they finished the bypass, and it's clear a tornado has come through and done some damage. it's also clear that a way smaller town, isolated and all, just lives at a different wavelength. people just look at you, not sure why they don't know who you are. here in town i had to walk over to the other side of campus to get a special paycheck because they'd made a mistake so i set out during lunch on a fantastic, beautiful day to walk across campus. construction everywhere; they're beautifying, and it's all cosmetic, but they sure are out there. it always seems like some of these guys are hanging out in their trucks; half the time, they aren't doing much. but they are getting paid, and that to some degree is what is keeping the economy afloat, it's a tenuous world. for a minute, i felt like asking them if i could carve my name in the fresh concrete of the sidewalk they'd just laid out. it's not like i haven't made my mark, i've been around eighteen years. i have a fear, i guess, that when i'm gone, life will go on, and eventually they'll forget me. the workers look out of their trucks somewhat grimly. times are tough here. maybe they know the state's 85 bill in the hole, university is contracting, there will be fewer sidewalks to pour maybe, seems like they can't hire enough teachers either. they did give me the paycheck though. the money's still good as far as i know. i look around at the area with an urgency now because the time will come when i just up and leave. it's pretty, some days, mighty hot and steamy others, but on the pretty ones i go out and sit, try to breathe in some of the ambience. i worked so hard, while i was here, that i didn't really see it much. i've got tons of packing to do, sorting, pitching, giving away, but things got a bit busy, i got tired, now i just want to go out & sit, drink a cup of coffee, think about it for a minute. the mailman goes by in his boxy truck on a slow roll; i remember what they said about the depression and how everyone was jealous of him, because he's the only one with a secure job. times get tough, a lot of folks like me just clear out and go where there's work. or where there's an economy, and it's a little easier. some folks just hunker down, live on less, get by & take care of themselves. it's like, there's a bit more crime, you get used to scarcity, the folks with a chance just peel off the side and go off, and who remains? the od, the ones with no momentum, the ones who couldn't imagine leaving, they've got nowhere else to go. 85 billion, how'd it get that way? the state put two governors in jail and it cost a fortune to hire enough lawyers to pull it off and during that time those governors and their friends just spent money and gave stuff away, and nobody was running the place really, and oops there goes 85 bill. really the whole north is kind of like that, michigan, ohio, pennsylvania, lots of union dudes, lots of healthcare, lots of folks not doing much anymore, all the work has gone down south & the young people have gone with it, i guess. too bad; it's nice up here, with the green, the water, the lakes, the winter, such as it is. i'll miss it. one guy says to me, i'd never move anyplace that joined the confederacy. i had to think for a minute because it seemed to me, texas was confederate, but it was its own country too. or whatever. nevertheless, it kind of has the upper hand now, all the jobs are down there, up here folks are waiting for times to get better, and they might not. how are they going to find 85 bill? all i can say is, i took my share of it, sure, but i worked for every penny of it. i'm sure other folks feel the same way.