spring blossoms out at such a rapid pace that the colors change, literally, every time i drive this certain road, and every road, as the flowers are busting out, in some cases, falling to the ground, changing color, coming into certain shades of green, from orange, salmon, pink, purple, whatever. it's kind of the opposite of fall in some ways but it happens quite quickly. then everything's green & steamy, like a rain forest.

just as quickly, it's mowing season, and people are around covering every square inch with loud noise and oil exhaust. and then they'll fire up a gas-powered blower to blow the clippings around, making loud noise the warning of pollens in the air and the chiggers & bugs now have to move somewhere where they're a little slower with the cutting.

my son wants me to read hunger games and to see the movie too, but i'm kind of stuck on something; i spent much of the break, besides holding two babies who i refer to as the brimfield girls, reading this book, the book is called nothing to envy, google it, it's a very captivating, extremely well-written book about an entire nation, north korea, imprisoned and starving to death, while its leaders apparently live it up and seek nuclear power or whatever. it's horrifying, because it's almost completely focused on the common people, and their attempts to feed themselves with pine bark or whatever, and how you can remove a people's contact with the outside world. it's scary. and now hunger games seems like, well, i'm not sure. is it serious?

a sinking feeling also arises that we are witnessing the downfall of the western world, europe first, usa not far behind, while some countries somewhere (china?) are holding all the cards and suddenly reluctant to keep lending to bankrupt systems, or whatever. why should they pay for my retirement when they won't even pay for their own people's? and, if they lend, say, the state of illinois, or greece, the money to cover that one payment, who's to say anyone will ever pay that back? if we continue to wither away, lose our insurance, lose our retirements, lose what security we've known for years, what happens? my kids & theirs may have to find new continents to live on. and they might not be the ones we're used to. peru, i'm thinking. or maybe africa...i have to admit, it's crossed my mind.

so i have these dreams, i write poetry, and it does pretty well, and i play music, and that's fun too (see below)...seems i've been doing them long enough that it's getting easier on the ears. some musicians got together for harrisburg & i did my part; it raised $400 something in just one venue, one evening (and there were many more venues, more evenings) so i feel like harrisburg came out all right. almost told the story of the folks who have my name, or the jury-duty story but lo & behold, got summoned to jury duty again, and this time i'll give you an up-to-the-minute report, or at least 24 hours, so you can figure out how i either got out of it, by being extreme (which i am) or got nailed to the jury like last time & have to listen to some yada-yada-yada. in my case that was a harrisburg story too and it was some long thing, three & a half weeks, don't mean to minimize it, it was some folks' lives, all splayed out in air-bag reports & testimony; don't know if i can handle that kind of thing again though it's good for the story-writing. i've become delicate. the brimfield girls, all of 90 days old maybe, have shown me how delicate and beautiful, and tenuous, life is, & how, if you get a chance, you should step back a minute, back one step and two forward, and they'll sink into your arms, and believe you, that everything is going to be all right. though i'm not quite sure i believe it myself.