so supposedly a cold hard rain is coming through, maybe it will put an icy glaze on everything, and i'll have an enforced vacation tomorrow; otherwise i might get up, get around, and do stuff that one could say needs to be done. am i obsessed with money, based on that little rolling movie beneath this post? no not really. i've been reading about the financial crunch, which is basically to say, why options and derivatives are like everyone gambling big time on the possibility that there might be stability and money someday, this sounds kind of like our daily budget too, but, in this kind of climate nobody wants any real money, or the system like a vacuum will suck it right up and use it, 'cause it was hoping so hard that there would be some somewhere. and no, i'm not totally crazy about bubbleshare either, though i've had friends who were into it for a long time; what i like about it really is that its "slider" is like your subconscious, it ramps pop-art beneath the horizon on a kind of looping subconscious neon. that was my intention anyway; to me it's kind of a rustic movie but it has that "bubbleshare" logo kind of stamping it.

it's a time of year when the best thing for me to do is forget all about work as fast as possible, and get right into christmas preparations quick before it's too late, but, brain-dead & exhausted, it's about the hardest thing to possibly do. i'm not very materialistic to begin with, & even with a cold hard list in front of me driving up, parking a mile from some mall, and fighting the crowds is a chore; it just makes me feel separate from the world i live in. i have another idea, which is to write a twitter-novel or some other escapist venture, but then i'd be late with all this other stuff which would just make it worse. and that twitter-novel idea, i haven't quite figured out how that would work, or be different from other kinds of novels, let alone better. maybe that should wait until i'm really ready to do performance art- rested, happy, have something to say, etc. then finally there's the material plane, the cold, cat-pooped disorganized garage with a piano in it; i could move the piano in, fix it up, put weather-stripping & sealing on doors and walls, etc., in other words fix up the house a bit, but again, i'm too tired, i can hardly stand up. first step, sleep as much as possible; get up, & get kids off to school if possible and if necessary, get big cup of coffee, take in icy glazed paper, and then get another cup of coffee. one final possibility, get out the banjo, the fiddle or maybe the lap dulcimer, practice obscure old christmas carols, maybe of the irish celtic or french variety, try to get in the spirit, before tackling all the other stuff. we'll see what the weather holds, and hope maybe it socks us in, and makes us sit still for a change.